It occurs to me that people who don’t know me might benefit from a short background on the who of me. Not family history, job history, education, or any of that, though I’ll grant that all that is part of who I am. I am specifically referring to my worldview and a few generalizations regarding my personality.

I’ve already mentioned that I’m a daydreamer, and that’s true, so far as it goes. I’m also a bit of a new age flake, though I don’t personally think I’m especially flaky. Yes, I wave crystals around on occasion, I practice energy medicine (Reiki and Fairy Realms Reiki – there’s a shocker), and I’m into astrology. Speaking of which, I’m a Cancer with Aquarius ascending, and according to the Chinese calender I’m an Metal Boar. I insist on Boar, by the way, not Pig. I can’t help but think of Babe or Wilbur when I think Pig, and I prefer the lean, fierce, tusky image of Boar to the pink, chubby, barnyard Pig. The symbolism of Boar means more to me than that of the average barnyard animal. If you really want a great book about astrology, and by far the most accurate description of Cancer I’ve ever seen, I recommend Astrology for Lovers, by Liz Greene. Can’t help with the Chinese astrology.

The important point, in my opinion, regarding Cancer is that it’s a water sign. Water is emotional, mystical, and mysterious. I act and react first according to emotion, then thought. No, I’m not histrionic or moved by irrepressible passions; I’m just saying that I am immediately aware of how I feel about a situation, and that feeling colors my response. The emotional way that I and my damp fellows, Scorpio and Pisces, interact with the world are often beyond the understanding of you earthy, airy, and fiery types. We often make no sense to you, and to be honest we often don’t understand ourselves or each other, either. Incidentally, Scorpios are the ones with all the scary passions; they’re fairly direct in going after what they want, and if you’re going to frustrate their desires watch out for their stings. Cancers like me never go directly after what we want; we always come at if from the side, and there’s a good chance you won’t realize we’re after it until we’ve got it firmly in our claws. Once we’ve got it, you’re going to play hell getting it back, and if you do you can bet we’ll retreat into our shells and grumble a lot. You might get pinched a bit, too. I’ll let one of the fish tell you about Pisces, though the answer might vary depending on whether they’re feeling all bright and tropical or dark and enigmatic.

I am also a Lavender life color, which probably means absolutely nothing to you at all, you poor, benighted soul, you. I highly encourage you to get your hands on a copy of What Color is Your Aura, by Barbara Bowers, or any of the life color books by Pamala Oslie. Life colors are part of your aura (as suggested by the title of Bowers’ book), and describing life colors is beyond the scope of this post. Here’s a link to one of Pamala Oslie’s sites:

www.auracolors.com

You can learn all sorts of things about life colors there, as well as finding a quiz that will help you learn what your life color is. Even if you don’t buy into the whole life color thing, it can be a fun diversion. Way better than those stupid personality quizzes in Cosmo.

Like I said, I’m a lavender, and as much as I would prefer a manlier color like blood red or pirate flag black, I have to admit that lavender is a far more appropriate color for my personality type. While I’m not effeminate, I’m no Leonidas, either. I don’t even like beer, and sports leave me sleeping in boredom. I might daydream about being the macho, sword-swinging bad ass, but in all honesty … well, I do own a sword, but so does my wife. Mine is bigger, though.

This is part of what Ms Oslie says about lavenders:

“Fantasy, enchantment, dreams, myths, spiritual beings, angels, fairies are all concepts which fill the Lavenders’ mind. Lavenders tend to live in a fantasy world. They prefer to spend their time out of their bodies, where life is pretty and enchanting. It is challenging for these airy beings to live in three-dimensional reality.”

There’s lots more about lavenders there, and I won’t say that it’s all flattering. Unfortunately, I also can’t say that’s it’s not true, to some extent at least. The important points here are the fantasy and enchantment bits, and especially the challenge of living in three-dimensional reality. It’s not a simple preference to spend my time out of my body; it’s often impossible (and painful) to stay in my body.

See, to me (and my pastel brethren), the fantasy worlds she refers to are nearly as real as this three-dimensional reality my body is stuck in. The world is larger by far than my meat eyes can see, but I see it all the same. What’s more, this larger world includes all those dreams, myths, spiritual beings, angels, and faeries she mentions. It has to, and it’s not just limited to those things. And it’s not limited to just one larger world; there are myriad worlds out there, and I wander into and out of them all the time. I have to, because I belong there at least as much as I do here. It’s my job, you could say. Now, I could go off on modern physicists theorizing about alternate realities and all those other dimensions that sensible people don’t believe in, but I won’t. I could also mention that all those little models of atoms and molecules you made in high school with tinker toys represented energy (you can’t actually hold a proton, you know), and since we’re made of atoms we are actually energy ourselves, and this sensation of physicality is just an illusion. Okay, I guess I will mention that. My point here is that energy … okay, I’ve forgotten what my point was, but it’s an interesting thought all the same, so I’ll leave it in.

(I humbly ask that no physicists or scientifically-inclined kick my digital ass in the comments; you want to know about Thor, I can help; physics are way not my strong suit, but I’m pretty sure I have the basic idea right.)

I’m not here to explain every detail of why I believe or even exactly what I believe; my point is simply to establish the fact that I do believe in things that most people consign to the toy bin of silly childish things. Believe me when I say that not all faeries are childish (few are, in fact); all is not “pretty” here in my “fantasy” world, and there are dark, bloody things creeping through the shadows. Some of them are faeries, and some are straightforward monsters. Either way, they’re not the sort of folks you want to hang out with. Yes, I believe in unicorns. I also believe in kelpies. More to the point, I don’t see any reason not to believe. You don’t get to pick and choose, you know – if you believe in the nice ones, you have to believe in the bad ones, too. To do otherwise would be like only believing in butterflies but refusing to accept the possibility of bot flies.

The thing is, it doesn’t matter whether these things are real or not; it’s the possibility, the magic, the wonder, and even the impossibility of these things that fascinates me. I don’t want you to think that I spend all my time daydreaming just because I find it interesting, though; I spend all my time daydreaming because that’s what I do. Can’t help it. In fact, sometimes I wish I could stop daydreaming for a little while.

If you really want to know how I drift through the world, here are a few “rules” I live by. I don’t think of them as rules, but since it makes it a bit easier to talk about we’ll go with it.

So here follow the Three Rules of William, or The Possibilities of the Impossible:

Rule #1: Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Just because my earthly eyes can’t rest on a thing or a person, neither that thing nor that person are thereby bound to not exist. It’s not as simple as being in a dark room, or being blind; you’re knee will crack into the coffee table whether you can see it or not. I’m talking about those things that you can’t see, touch, or smell, and those things that maybe you could if they wanted you to. The more sensitive of us often can see, smell, and ‘feel’ those intangible things, though we’re trained to ignore them as flights of fancy or silly daydreams. Sometimes they are flights of fancy, of course, but sometimes they’re not. There’s no rule that states that just because you don’t see it, it has to be there. The point of this rule is that it could be there, even if you don’t see it. An important sub-rule: just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it couldn’t be there.

Rule #2: Just because it never happened doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

This isn’t the stubborn denial of fact so much as accepting the possibility of not knowing as much as we think we do. For example, lots of people will sigh and patiently (or impatiently) explain that there was never an Atlantis. The rise, flowering, and fall of Atlantis never happened. Okay, except maybe it did happen. And even if it didn’t happen, it’s still a nice possibility. I mean, what a story!

Rule #3: Just because it’s impossible doesn’t mean it can’t happen.

Logically, rationally, I might be willing to admit that a lot of things I believe in are silly, strange, and completely indefensible. Of course faeries aren’t real, there’s no such thing as sea monsters, and vampires simply cannot exist. Except that I always come back to the question of “Why not?” Just because we can clearly explain and scientifically demonstrate why they can’t exist doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Besides, I have felt the presence of faeries, felt them touch me, caught glimpses of them with my real eyes, and communicated with them (no, not with words – not yet, anyway).

I’ll be one of the first to rejoice over having left a lot of dangerous superstitions behind. I’m grateful for the Age of Reason and the Scientific Revolution, believe me. But for lavenders, or at least for me, it isn’t about defying the limitations of science and returning to the days of enhancing fertility by wrapping a compress of horse manure and herbs around my head and laying on a stone under the light of the full moon; it’s about an entirely different discipline, something we’ve moved away from, and Oslie sums it up as enchantment. It’s about intuition, magic, and wonder. Other worlds exist side by side with our own, some within, some without, and some in the exact same space. I believe this, but whether I’m right or wrong is beside the point.

Beyond that, it’s about the subtle beauty and the wonder of all those things rational eyes can’t see. Stories and daydreams are important (and I’ll tell you why in my next post). Will I ever have to slam on my car’s breaks to avoid hitting a manticore? I seriously doubt it. If I do, will I think I imagined the whole thing? Probably. But I can envision the possibility, and now that I’ve considered it I’m going to catch myself keeping a watchful eye for careless manticores every time I get behind the wheel. Stupid manticores. Pay attention!

Welcome to the World of William.